Facebook is like my grandmother at the dinner table.

You could always tell when my maternal grandmother was enjoying her dinner, because she wouldn't say a word, she'd just eat it.

I always think of this when I read status updates about how much fun people are having.  Come on:  if it was that great, you'd be busy experiencing it, not pecking away at your phone. 

I'm more likely to believe you if you tell me you had fun *yesterday*.