Hello, Officer

Our doorbell rang. After the second ring, we looked out the window and saw a cop car in our driveway. I put on a bathrobe and opened the front door. The officer said our mother-in-law, in Indianapolis, hadn't been able to get in touch with us for several days.

Really?

Yes.

I said, sorry for your trouble, officer. OK, Judy, we were fucking. I have not abducted your daughter. We pulled weeds today, watched a movie out on the patio, drank wine, and gratified our urges. That's all: fucking. OK?