Fill a cocktail shaker 2/3 full with ice. Add:
2 oz rye whiskey (for example Sazerac)Shake well and strain into a collapsible silicone cocktail glass.
3/4 oz red vermouth (I recommend Noilly Prat)
1 dash Angostura bitters
Garnish with a maraschino cherry impaled on the nose of a toy plane.
Light a leftover sparkler from the 4th of July, bend it at a 90 degree angle just below the thick part, and place it in the glass with the bend at the bottom.
Wait for the sparkler to ignite the alcohol; serve.
Run away.
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